I hope that we welcome and love all of God’s children, including those who might dress, look, speak, or just do things differently. It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient. Let us lift those around us. Let us extend a welcoming hand. Let us bestow upon our brothers and sisters in the Church a special measure of humanity, compassion, and charity so that they feel, at long last, they have finally found home.
- Dieter Uchtdorf, from "You Are My Hands"
I have had a few friends of mine who are close to me feel the sting of nonacceptance. Others being made to feel "deficient" can happen from thoughtless people who say things in a way where the recipient can feel "other" and alienated. It hurts me to see them experience this. Some have unknowingly thrown away the blessings of the Gospel because of the unkindness of Church members, the same people who have made a promise to God to do for their brothers and sisters in the Gospel what Uchtdorf is lovingly encouraging us all -- religious or not -- to do. I have shed many tears for these people, especially those I have seen walk away from the LDS Church, feeling they have gained a reprieve from others in Church who are also struggling to become better people. But they end up losing the gifts of the the sacrament (whereby they can become unburdened of their sins, mistakes, and sorrows, and receive the gift of knowing spiritually that they can change and become better), the temple, and being ministered to, coming closer to and becoming more like God, which I believe is one of the deepest desires of the human heart, even if we don't call it "God."
I have the gift of empathy, but I had to suffer for that gift. I never ever felt accepted or wanted growing up and in my early 20s, whether within Church settings or without. I never walked away from the Church because I know it is the Savior's church, and that He loves those unkind and/or unwise souls as much as He does me. The deeper I've gone into its doctrines and covenants, the more I've felt and become. I didn't think life would get any better walking away from that, and I knew that as I attended Church and its other spiritually-centered events with the right motivations, I was following the Savior. I chose to look at it strictly as God's classroom, not social hour. Who I am in is in large part due to that decision to stick it when things were tough. My testimony of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is my single greatest possession. You can't empirically observe it (outside), but you can experience (inside) it if you are willing to pay the price.
As for me now, I laugh to myself about most of the alienation I get from people, because I know its on them, and I can choose to be happy even if they are not. And I can occasionally choose to be a bit ornery if they need a wake-up call, not realizing that their speech patterns are dis-empowering and not love-centered ;P
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